13 Weird Viking Jobs That (Luckily) No Longer Exist

Get ready to embark on a wild journey through the strangest professions of the Viking Age! From bone carvers to raven feeders, these quirky gigs will make you grateful for your modern 9-to-5. Buckle up and let's dive into the weirdness!

16. Runestone Carvers

In an era before headstones, runestones were how Vikings memorialized their dead and marked big events. Runestone Carvers were the Michelangelos of the craft, ornately inscribing massive boulders with runic etchings. The original (and most laborious) form of writing a gravestone inscription.

15. Oath Ring Custodians

There was no pinky swearing in Viking times - only sacred oath rings. The Oath Ring Custodians guarded these ceremonial rings, upon which the community's most важно vows were made. The ultimate "pinky promise" enforcers.

14. Hof Goði

While modern folks go to church on Sundays, Vikings had the Hof Goði presiding over their sacred temples and rituals. Part priest, part chieftain, these spiritual leaders kept the religion running smoothly. No easy feat when your gods included a hammer-swinging hunk.

13. Ergi Accusers

In Viking society, being accused of ergi (unmanly behavior) was one of the worst insults. That's where the Ergi Accusers came in - these tough judges scrutinized warriors for any perceived feminine actions.

12. Saga Keepers

Before written books, there were Saga Keepers - the original walking wikis. These master memorizers had the difficult job of storing entire epic histories and legends in their brains to pass down to future generations. No Cloud storage back then!

11. Raven Feeders

Thought being a bird keeper was boring? Not for these Viking oddballs. Raven Feeders were tasked with caring for Odin's feathered scouts, training them for reconnaissance missions and keeping the gods' symbolic animals in tip-top shape. Definitely a step up from your usual pigeon feeding.

10. Huskarls

While most warriors just fought, the elite Huskarls took it to another level as the personal bodyguards of kings and jarls. These Liam Neeson-esque badasses were highly trained in tactics and probably had a few trusted throwing knives on them at all times. The original private security team!

9. Dream Interpreters

Before there were psychoanalysts, there were Dream Interpreters. If you woke up from a crazy Viking dream about slaying a dragon while chugging mead, these folks were on call to explain what vision from the gods you just had. Probably saved a lot of therapy costs.

8. Volva

If you thought having a psychic friend was cool, then you'll be gobsmacked by the Volva. These ultra-powerful Viking shamanesses could communicate with the spirit world and see into the future. The ultimate girls' night confidant...if you're brave enough.

7. Galdr Singers

Part Wiccan, part Viking rapper, the Galdr Singers were the masters of the chanted spell. Combining their vocal talents with a bit of seiðr magic, they were basically the period's equivalent of dropping the sickest beats...with curses.

6. Bone Carvers

You've heard of whittling, but the Bone Carvers took it to a skeletal level. Using bones and antlers as their medium, these artisans created everything from everyday utensils to downright creepy magical talismans. Bit of a goth vibe, but hey, at least they were recycling!

5. Beserkers

Before there were heavy metal moshpits, there were Beserkers. These rabid warriors fought in a trance-like fury, all hopped up on...something. Definitely the Vikings you don't want to encounter in a dark alley. Or anywhere, really.

4. Ship Burial Conductors

Imagine being the funeral director...for a ship. That's right, these quirky undertakers made sure the dearly departed Vikings got the most extra send-off ever, with full-sized boats as caskets and all their prized possessions on board. Pillaging the afterlife in style.

3. Seiðr Practitioners

Nowadays, we have psychics and mediums, but the Vikings had something far weirder: Seiðr Practitioners. These shamanic sorcerers cast spells, made prophecies, and probably gave the best Halloween party fortune-tellings. Just don't ask them about your future love life unless you want to be cursed.

2. Rune Masters

Think you're a font nerd? These mystical dudes took alphabets to the next level. Rune Masters were the calligraphic sorcerers of the Vikings, using their runic inscriptions for everything from crafting to casting spells. You don't want to get on their bad side and wake up with a cursed font installed on your computer.

1. Scalds (Skalds)

These poetic storytellers were the OG rappers of the Viking world. They spun sagas and rhymes to preserve legends and history, keeping the party lit with their verbal wizardry. You know it's a wild night when the scalds show up.

Those were the days when having an ordinary job like bricklayer or farmer was pretty tame by comparison! From metaphysical sorcerers to corpse-ship conductors, the Vikings definitely had some weird occupations on their resumes. Makes you appreciate the simplicity of your modern 9-to-5, doesn't it?