Historical Lies That Are So Common Everyone Thinks They're True

From the size of Napoleon's stature to the misleading nickname of the "Dark Ages," the past is peppered with misconceived tidbits—many of which are taught in classrooms across the globe or shared at dinner parties as intriguing facts.

Yet, sometimes these historical misrepresentations aren't just harmless errors; they can shape perceptions and skew our understanding of the past.

Not every renowned historical figure was the hero—or villain—they're often made out to be, and not every event played out like the dramatic scenes in a Hollywood blockbuster.

Prepare to be amused, surprised, and enlightened as we debunk 50 historical lies so pervasive, they're almost canon.

Misconceptions of the Middle Ages

The Middle Ages might seem like one big Renaissance fair full of misguided beliefs and fearsome torture devices, but historians beg to differ.

The following subsections tackle a couple of the juiciest misconceptions that would make any medieval scholar facepalm.

Flat Earth Belief

  • Contrary to popular opinion, people in the Middle Ages didn't typically think the Earth was as flat as a pancake.
  • Education: Most educated people since the time of the Ancient Greeks, including those living through the Middle Ages, understood the Earth was spherical.

Iron Maiden Torture Device

  • The Iron Maiden, often imagined as the go-to gadget for medieval torture, was actually a product of a much later era.
  • Reality Check: This spiky sarcophagus wasn't used in the Middle Ages but was created in the 18th century and likely never used for actual torture.

Twisted Tales of American History

History can often be as stretchy as a giant rubber band, and some of the tales from American history have been stretched to the point of snapping.

Let's snap back to reality and look at what really went down with Paul Revere and the first Thanksgiving.

Paul Revere's Midnight Ride

  • Fact Stretch: The idea of Paul Revere yelling "The British are coming!" during his legendary ride is catchy, right? Well, it's also incorrect.
  • Horse Hoof Reality: Paul Revere's midnight gallop was a stealth mission. Him yelling at the top of his lungs wouldn't have been very sneaky, not to mention the colonists at the time still considered themselves British.

During Revere's ride, rather than making a ruckus, he and other riders (yeah, he wasn't the lone rider the legend makes him out to be) discreetly spread the word that the British troops were on the move.

Thanksgiving Myths

  • Turkey Truths: The image of a happy feast with Pilgrims and Native Americans might not be as rosy as the storybooks say.
  • Pilgrim-Indigenous Relations: Reports from back in the day don't mention a turkey, and while there was a feast, the relationship between the Pilgrims and Native Americans was a lot more complicated than a single meal could fix.

The 1621 harvest gathering was indeed a moment of collaboration, but it came after and before periods of strife and conflict between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans.

It wasn't the fairy tale of unity that many think of today—more like a brief break in an ongoing struggle.

Debunking Ancient World Myths

Ancient history is often cloaked in a shroud of misconception, and it's time to shine a light on some of the more stubborn legends.

Nero and the Great Fire

The fiery tale of Emperor Nero, supposedly fiddling while Rome burned in 64 AD, is ingrained in popular culture. Yet, it's a symphony of historical inaccuracies.

  • Nero's Instrument: He couldn't have played the fiddle because it hadn't been invented yet; if anything, he might've played the lyre.
  • Location Flub: Nero wasn't even in Rome when the fire started; he was at his villa in Antium, roughly 35 miles away.

Cleopatra's Egyptian Origins

Cleopatra VII, the last active ruler of the Ptolemaic Kingdom of Egypt, is often represented as an epitome of Egyptian heritage through her seductive and mysterious portrayal.

  • Greek Roots: Born into a Greek dynasty—the Ptolemies—she was ethnically Greek with possible Persian or Syrian family links.
  • Cultural Chameleon: Despite her Greek lineage, she was the first of her family to actively learn the Egyptian language and embrace many of its customs.

Inventions and Discoveries

Time for a quick reality check! Not all celebrated inventions were the solo eureka moments we often picture. Let's shed some light on a couple of them.

Edison's Light Bulb

Thomas Edison is often hailed as the father of the electric light bulb, but he wasn't the first to brighten up our lives:

  • Sir Humphry Davy ignited the spark with the first electric light in the early 1800s.
  • Several inventors had a 'lightbulb moment' before Edison, crafting bulbs that sadly didn't last long.
  • Edison’s genius was in improving the light bulb to make it practical and long-lasting for home use. He didn't invent the light bulb from scratch, but he sure made it shine!

Graham Bell's Telephone

Alexander Graham Bell is routinely credited with inventing the telephone, but it's not just a one-man show:

  • Antonio Meucci actually created an early voice communication device, but poor guy couldn't afford the patent.
  • Elisha Gray filed a patent for a similar invention, like, super close to Bell's own filing.
  • Bell was the first to patent—an important step—but he wasn't working in a vacuum.

In conclusion, while these inventors made critical contributions to the inventions we use today, the real story is often more like a team sport than a solo race.

Distorted War Stories

History has a knack for sprucing up war stories, often serving up tall tales on a silver platter. Some legends persist so strongly, they weave into the fabric of popular belief, and separating fact from fiction becomes akin to finding a needle in a historical haystack.

The Wooden Horse of Troy

  • The Famed Trick: The tale of the Greeks gifting a giant wooden horse to the Trojans, who then bring it within their city walls, is legendary.
  • The Reality Check: Evidence suggests this might have been a metaphor for siege warfare or an ancient misunderstanding turned blockbuster plot point.

The saga of the Wooden Horse of Troy has all the trappings of a spectacular ruse – but history buffs might raise an eyebrow.

Did the Trojans really drag a horse brimming with Greek soldiers into Troy? Modern scholars suggest it could be a symbolic twist on war tactics rather than an actual event. Some think it might even stem from a mistranslation of 'horse' instead of 'siege machine', but either way, the story has galloped through time.

Vietnam War Fallacies

  • The Misconception: The common narrative often paints the Vietnam War as a conflict the US was destined to lose from the start.
  • Historical Fine-tuning: While the war presented significant challenges, this fails to acknowledge strategic victories and the complex socio-political dynamics.

When chatting about the Vietnam War, it's easy to slip into the cliché that the United States was out of its depth from day one.

Yet, the truth is layered with intricate strategies, pivotal battles, and an underappreciation for the local political scene.

It wasn't just guerrilla warfare that defined the conflict; it was a tapestry of global Cold War politics, regional alliances, and a fair share of tactical wins and losses on both sides.

Biographical Blunders

In the realm of historical tales, a few fibs related to famous figures have been passed down through generations. They've become so entwined with our cultural fabric that separating fact from fiction can feel like a Herculean task.

Let’s set the record straight on a couple of whoppers attributed to some of history's well-known personalities.

Einstein Failing Mathematics

  • The Myth: Albert Einstein was a poor math student who flunked his way through math classes.
  • The Truth: Contrary to popular belief, Einstein was quite adept at mathematics from a young age.

Despite what many believe, Einstein never failed mathematics.

In fact, by fifteen, he had already mastered differential and integral calculus. It's a classic case of misunderstanding – a revaluation of school grades from a different system led to this tall tale.

Van Gogh's Madness

  • The Myth: Vincent Van Gogh was mad, and his mental illness was the root of his artistic genius.
  • The Truth: While he did struggle with mental health issues, they didn't define his artistry.

Van Gogh did battle with mental illness, but labeling him as simply 'mad' ignores the complexity of his character and the nuances of his incredible work.

His issues didn't fuel his creativity; he was an accomplished artist despite them, using color and form to express emotions in ways that were ahead of his time.

Misrepresented Renaissance

Renaissance: a time of radical change and extraordinary misconceptions!

Galileo's Heresy Trial

  • Myth: Galileo was imprisoned and tortured for his scientific beliefs.
  • Reality: Galileo was placed under house arrest, not thrown in a dungeon, and there's no evidence he was tortured.

Galileo's brush with the Church is often exaggerated into a grand showdown.

People imagine him as a martyr of science who spent his final days languishing in a cold, dark cell. However, historical records suggest that Galileo's "prison" was his own villa in Florence, where he could pursue his studies in a pretty cushy manner, all things considered.

Da Vinci's Left-Handedness

  • Claim: Leonardo da Vinci was a southpaw, and this trait made him exceptionally skilled.
  • Fact: Da Vinci did a lot with his left hand, but his ambidextrous talents are often left out of the story.

Leonardo da Vinci's creativity was monumental, with his left-handedness frequently cited as a sign of his unique genius.

Sure, he might've favored his left hand, but he was also quite handy (pun intended) with his right.

Those impressive mirror writings? He could probably do them in his sleep, backwards and with either hand tied behind his back.

Faked Facts About Famous Landmarks

Historical landmarks are like celebrity A-listers of the tourism world, but they're also not immune to the spread of fibs and fables. Let's bust some myths about a couple of them.

The Great Wall of China from Space

  • Myth: Visible from the Moon – The Great Wall is often claimed to be visible from the Moon with the naked eye.
  • Reality Check: Not even a chance! Seeing it from that far is like spotting a single highway with your eyes squished against a plane's window at cruising altitude. Astronauts have confirmed that it remains elusive from such a lofty vantage point.

Plymouth Rock Pilgrims

  • Myth: Landing Spot – Plymouth Rock is hailed as the precise spot where the Pilgrims disembarked from the Mayflower.
  • Reality Check: This boulder's fame is a bit overblown. It's highly unlikely that the Pilgrims specifically targeted this rock as their stepping stone to the New World.
  • More likely, they landed on a stretch of shore and the rock was later picked as a symbol, much like a historical celebrity endorsement.

Health and Science Fabrications

In the realm of health and science, myths seem to stick like gum on a hot sidewalk. They've traveled from ear to ear, leading many to accept fiction as fact. Let's debunk a couple of these sticky myths.

Vaccines and Illnesses

  • Vaccines cause autism: A study in the late '90s kicked up this doozy, and it's been refuted time and again. Vaccines do not cause autism. They save lives.

  • Flu shots give you the flu: Nope, they don't. The vaccine is made from an inactivated virus that can't transmit infection. So, while you might feel a bit under the weather, it's not the flu.

The Five-Second Rule

  • Dropped food is safe if picked up within five seconds: Five seconds or fifty, bacteria can transfer instantly upon contact. The safety of your snack depends more on the cleanliness of the floor than the quickness of your reflexes.

Economic and Cultural Fictions

Let's unravel some quirky historical misbeliefs that blend economy with culture, turning them into tales more twisted than spaghetti.

Marco Polo and Pasta

  • Myth: Marco Polo introduced pasta to Italy from China.
  • Truth: Pasta was already twirling on Italian forks long before Polo's adventures.

It might give you a noodle scratcher, but despite popular belief, Marco Polo did not bring pasta to Italy. Historical records show that Italians were cozying up with pasta dishes centuries before Polo's epic tales. The guy surely had a knack for storytelling, though!

The Diamond Engagement Tradition

  • Myth: Diamonds have forever been the stone of choice for engagement rings.
  • Truth: This shiny tradition is barely a century old, marketed with a sparkle.

Engagements weren’t always a glittery affair. The "diamonds are forever" concept is actually the brainchild of a 20th-century ad campaign by De Beers. They hooked us with the idea that no proposal is complete without a diamond, turning a rock into a romantic must-have. Clever move, De Beers, clever.

Historical Artifacts and Archaeology

Busting myths about historical bling and ancient inscriptions is just another day at the office for archaeologists. They've got dirt under their nails and the real scoop on past civilizations.

Viking Horned Helmets

  • Myth: Vikings stormed into battle donning helmets with big, intimidating horns.
  • Truth: Helmets with horns belong more to opera costumes than actual Viking warfare.

Although they might look seriously cool and have a certain metal band appeal, the horned helmets are a no-show in authentic Viking gear. Vikings valued functionality in battle over flamboyant fashion, and a helmet with horns would have been more of a hindrance than a help.

Rosetta Stone Decipherment

  • Assumption: A single genius cracked the code of the Rosetta Stone.
  • Reality: It took several bright minds and a fair bit of time to decipher the ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs.

The Rosetta Stone was like a puzzle waiting for its bilingual brainiacs to piece it together. It wasn't just one chap wearing the decipherment medal, but a tag team of linguists. After many head-scratchers, they managed to translate the hieroglyphs using the stone's Greek script as a guide.